Helping Teens Make it Through a Bad Day
Loving Ways to Help Teens Cope With and Overcome Negative Emotions
Jun 19, 2009
Parents never know when it’s going to happen. The morning is running smoothly, and it’s shaping up to be a great day. Then, without warning, their teen emerges from her room tired and grouchy. They ask her what’s wrong, but she’s in no mood to talk.
What is the best way to react in this situation? How can parents try to help without making things worse?
First of all, they can step back and objectively look at what is really going on. Teens often struggle with physical changes, hormones, peer pressure, social stress, fatigue, worries about school…the possible reasons for a negative mood are endless. Each one can contribute to an unexpected, out-of-the-blue bad day.
Next, parents should remember that this is a temporary situation, an opportunity to teach teens life skills that will help them grow into confident, compassionate, and well-balanced adults.
Following are a few way parents can help teens make it through a bad day.
Pay Attention to Physical Well Being
- Encourage her to get some extra sleep.
- Make sure he has eaten some nutritious food, and that he consumes a little protein with every meal or snack. This is especially important when he's having a hard day. Because of their erratic effect on blood sugar, eating only simple carbohydrates can cause roller-coaster emotions.
Nurture a Positive Attitude
- Remind her to be extra kind to herself today. Encourage her to show herself the same compassion she would give a good friend.
- Help him realize that things will look different after some time has passed.
- Search for opportunities to volunteer. Look for organizations that interest her, so she can meet like-minded people while she is helping others. Teach her that getting out of her own head and helping someone else is a great way to turn a day around, and to bring joy and meaning to her life.
- Play the game “Three.” Take turns thinking of three good people or things.
- Teach him to say to himself, “This too shall pass.” Remind him of another time when he triumphed over his troubles.
- Encourage her to spend time with a good friend or mentor.
Show a Little Love
- Give her lots of hugs.
- Tell her (or him) that it’s all right to cry. Everybody needs a good cry sometimes.
- While he is sitting at the computer, silently place a piece of chocolate beside the keyboard, then give him a quick hug and walk away.
- Find something funny for him to watch on TV.
- Give him some time alone to work things out for himself.
- Encourage her to write down her thoughts.
Get Moving
Shake things up. Find a reason to get out of the house. Go to a movie, visit a friend, deliver cookies to a neighbor, or do something physical outside. Drive to a park and feed the ducks, or go to the mountains or countryside and have lunch. Invite a friend or two to come along.
Encourage her to get some exercise. She could ride her bike or take a walk. If parents decide to take a walk with her, they should resist the urge to give advice or talk too much, and just be comfortable walking in silence. She will open up more fully and freely if others give her a little space and resist the temptation push or nag her into confiding in them.
A Bad Day is an Opportunity to Teach and Love
Parents can view a bad day as an opportunity to teach teens how to cope with negative emotions, and make an extra effort to nurture and love them through it. Home then becomes a sanctuary from the outside world, a safe place to regroup and recharge. It becomes a secure launching pad from which to move forward as healthy, independent adults.
 |
